Webb Therapy Uncategorized When our intelligent and necessary emotion – ANGER – becomes unhealthy and damaging

When our intelligent and necessary emotion – ANGER – becomes unhealthy and damaging

The function of anger is to protect vulnerability and neutralize threat.

The threat humans cognitively perceive is almost always to the ego i.e., how we want to think of ourselves and have others think of us. Anger neutralizes ego-threat by devaluing, demeaning, or undermining the “power” of the person perceived to be threatening. Humans get angry when they don’t get what they want, when they’re disrespected, or when they perceive something is unjust/unfair. Anger, the emotion, is a chemical messenger. It communicates to us, to others, and motivates us to act, speak, do something. Healthy responses to anger include being assertive, feeling empowered, protecting ourselves and love ones from ACTUAL threat, setting boundaries with others, and making social change for justice (for example). It becomes unhealthy when we become passive-aggressive, violent, vengeful, spiteful, aggressive, resentful, sarcastic, “moody”, rude etc.

Receive the message and respond from a wise, calm place after the intensity of the emotion has past. Sometimes we have to act in the moment. Our ancestors may have required this for fight/flight survival. These days, we can generally PAUSE and calm the self before responding from a mindful and compassionate heart and mind. Remember: Hurt people, hurt people.

Related Post

The stages of change modelThe stages of change model

‘The stages of change model’ was developed by Prochaska and DiClemente. Heard of them? It informs the development of brief and ongoing intervention strategies by providing a framework for what interventions/strategies are useful for particular individuals. Practitioners need an understanding of which ‘stage of change’ a person is in so that the most appropriate strategy for the individual client is selected.

There are five common stages within the Stages of Change model and a 6th known as “relapse”:

1. In the precontemplation stage, the person is either unaware of a problem that needs to be addressed OR aware of it but unwilling to change the problematic behaviour [or a behaviour they want to change. It does not always have to be labelled as “problematic”].

2. This is followed by a contemplation stage, characterized by ambivalence regarding the problem behaviour and in which the advantages and disadvantages of the behaviour, and of changing it, are evaluated, leading in many cases to decision-making.

3. In the preparation stage, a resolution to change is made, accompanied by a commitment to a plan of action. It is not uncommon for an individual to return to the contemplation stage or stay in the preparation stage for a while, for many reasons.

4. This plan is executed in the action stage, in which the individual engages in activities designed to bring change about and in coping with difficulties that arise.

5. If successful action is sustained, the person moves to the maintenance stage, in which an effort is made to consolidate the changes that have been made. Once these changes have been integrated into the lifestyle, the individual exits from the stages of change.

6. Relapse, however, is common, and it may take several journeys around the cycle of change, known as “recycling”, before change becomes permanent i.e., a lifestyle change; a sustainable change.

(Adapted from Heather & Honekopp, 2017)

Fact. Truth. Belief. They are related but distinct. Here’s a clear explanation showing how they differ and interact:Fact. Truth. Belief. They are related but distinct. Here’s a clear explanation showing how they differ and interact:


1. Fact

Definition:
A fact is something that is objectively real and can be proven to be true. It exists independently of what anyone thinks or believes.

Example:

  • It is a fact that Australia is in the Southern Hemisphere.

Key Points:

  • Facts don’t change based on opinion.
  • They can be verified with evidence (e.g. scientific data, observation, reliable records).
  • Facts are the foundation upon which truth claims and beliefs can be tested.

2. Truth

Definition:
Truth is a quality of a statement or belief that accurately reflects reality or fact.

Example:

  • “Australia is in the Southern Hemisphere” is a true statement because it corresponds with the fact.

Key Points:

  • Truth depends on alignment with facts.
  • Truth is often expressed in language or claims (“That’s true”, “That’s not true”).
  • Something can be true even if no one believes it (e.g. the Earth orbited the Sun even when most people thought otherwise).

3. Belief

Definition:
A belief is something a person thinks or accepts as true, whether or not it actually is.

Example:

  • Someone might believe that kangaroos can be kept as pets in all Australian states — but that belief isn’t necessarily true or factual.

Key Points:

  • Beliefs are subjective — they vary between individuals and cultures.
  • A belief can be true or false, depending on whether it aligns with facts.
  • People often act based on their beliefs, regardless of whether they are accurate.

How They Interact

  • A belief can be true or false:
    → If your belief aligns with fact, it’s true.
    → If not, it’s false — even if sincerely held.
  • Truth depends on fact:
    → A statement is true if it correctly describes a fact.
  • Facts stand alone:
    → They are not changed by belief or opinion.

Emotions: Function and MotivationEmotions: Function and Motivation

Joy or happiness can motivate us to join in, take part, flourish, share, be a part of, repeat these activities.

Fear can motivate us to get away, hide, flee, run, keep ourselves or others safe. It protects us.

Sadness can motivate us to withdraw, ruminate, cry, heal, express hurt, seek comfort and bond with others.

Anger can motivate us to attack, defend or stand up for ourselves, identify boundary violation, identify there is a threat to our self or our loved ones or something we value.

Guilt can motivate us to repair what we have done and informs us that we have violated our morals or values.

Shame can motivate us to hide away, to keep things secret, to remember our fallibility and humility, to keep us “right sized”.

Disgust can motivate us to withdraw, keep a distance, get clean or clean our environment to ensure we stay healthy.

Compassion, empathy, or sympathy can motivate us to offer comfort, be with others, relate to one another and form strong bonds.

Confusion (Cognitive with physical sensations) can motivate us to get curious, learn, discover, grow.

Affection (behavioural with physical sensations) can motivate us to give love, get close to specific people who were feel safe with, and want to spend more time with.