The difference between Selfishness and Self-Centeredness.

Albert Einstein is famously associated with the observation that “common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.”

The statement challenges the assumption that commonly held beliefs are necessarily rational, objective or correct. Rather, it suggests that many of our perceptions and judgements are shaped by childhood experiences, family influences, cultural expectations, social conditioning and the environments in which we develop.

In this context, prejudice refers not exclusively to discriminatory attitudes, but also to preconceived ideas and assumptions that we accept without sufficient examination.

From a psychological perspective, this reflects the development of cognitive schemas: mental frameworks through which we interpret experiences and make sense of the world. While these frameworks can be adaptive, they can also reinforce cognitive biases, limit perspective-taking and perpetuate unexamined beliefs.

The broader implication is that familiarity should not be confused with truth, tradition with wisdom, or social consensus with objective reality. Critical thinking requires us to examine the origins of our beliefs, consider alternative perspectives and remain willing to revise our understanding when presented with new evidence.

Intellectual maturity involves recognising that not everything we regard as common sense is necessarily sensible. Personal growth and psychological flexibility require an ongoing willingness to question what we believe, why we believe it and whether those beliefs remain valid.

The phrase “Say what you mean, but don’t say it mean” is all about the balance between honesty and kindness in communication.

Here’s what it means:

• “Say what you mean”:
  Be clear and truthful. Express your real thoughts and feelings. Don’t beat around the bush or pretend to agree when you don’t.
• “But don’t say it mean”:
  Speak with kindness and respect. Even when you’re being honest or giving criticism, there’s no need to be rude, hurtful, or aggressive.

Why it matters:

This phrase promotes healthy communication. It’s a reminder that:

• You can be honest without being harsh.
• Tone and delivery matter just as much as the words.
• Empathy and respect should guide your conversations—even when it’s hard.

Projection: Attributing one’s unacceptable feelings or desires to someone else. For example, if a bully constantly ridicules a peer about insecurities, the bully might be projecting his own struggle with self-esteem onto the other person.

Denial: Refusing to recognize or acknowledge real facts or experiences that would lead to anxiety. For instance, someone with substance use disorder might not be able to clearly see his problem.

Repression: Blocking difficult thoughts from entering into consciousness, such as a trauma survivor shutting out a tragic experience.

Regression: Reverting to the behaviour or emotions of an earlier developmental stage.

Rationalization: Justifying a mistake or problematic feeling with seemingly logical reasons or explanations.

Displacement: Redirecting an emotional reaction from the rightful recipient to another person altogether. For example, if a manager screams at an employee, the employee doesn’t scream back—but the employee may yell at her partner later that night.

Reaction Formation: Behaving or expressing the opposite of one’s true feelings. For instance, a man who feels insecure about his masculinity might act overly aggressive.

Sublimation: Channelling sexual or unacceptable urges into a productive outlet, such as work or a hobby.

Intellectualization: Focusing on the intellectual rather than emotional consequences of a situation. For example, if a roommate unexpectedly moved out, the other person might conduct a detailed financial analysis rather than discussing their hurt feelings.

Compartmentalization: Separating components of one’s life into different categories to prevent conflicting emotions.