Webb Therapy Uncategorized What is your intention? Why “will power” is often not enough.

What is your intention? Why “will power” is often not enough.


Adapted from AIPC (2022), Institute Inbrief, Issue 363.

Oftentimes, a brand new year is used like a clean slate. We can do this any time throughout the year, however, I understand that there is an added element of our “collective consciousness” in the universal atmosphere motivating us with some renewed energy and will. At this time of year, humans perceive that everyone else is also feeling hopeful, invigorated, and full of promise. But the road to realisation of goals is littered with the carcasses of broken dreams, unfulfilled promises, and intentions that dissipated in the stress and mundane of everyday life – our goals did not receive the “oxygen” required to be sustainable.

What is our “Will”?

Have you ever fallen short of accomplishing you New Year’s Resolution? Sometimes, even before the end of New Year’s Day? People many think, “I don’t have the will power to sustain it”, however, if we look at this from the perspective of Psychosynthesis, a transpersonal psychology, we will understand why our understanding of “will power” if often incorrect. If you did anything today, you have will inside you. You have drive, motive, and energy.

While our will may not have all the “power” that we would like it to have, our will is always present with us, somewhere. Psychosynthesis counsellors, especially trained to be observant about will, acknowledge that one of their sacred duties with clients is to track their will, but all mental health professionals can tune more into the willing function of self, for the ultimate good of the client. What do we need to know to do that?

First, will isn’t just desire energy. It is not synonymous with control, it is not about “strong-arming” someone, and it isn’t merely about repressing undesirable material.

Personal and transpersonal will

At a personal level, “will” can be understood as an essential impulse toward our own wholeness. It is that drive within us which coordinates the often-conflicting parts of our personalities into self-expression. As the function closest to the self, it regulates and directs other functions, such as imagination, intuition, impulses, sensations, thoughts, and feelings. It is will which guides us toward personal integration. As we align our lives with a broader vision for what we may be, we go beyond personal will, receiving guidance from transpersonal will: the will of Self (as opposed to “self”).

Along that journey, however, people can fail to execute our will in a way which allows our goals to be realised. This post looks at the aspects of will, which, if they are not employed or are employed badly, can stunt the client’s intentions, keeping their goals from ever realising.

Aspects of will: Strength, Skill, and Virtue

Strength

When people make statements as mentioned above, decrying their lack of “will power” or “internal energy”, they are probably referring to the most well-known aspect of will: that is, “strong will”. It is believed that when we are born, we are unaware that we are separate from our birth giver. The beginning of individuation (the process of forming a stable personality) is the beginning of recognising that “will” exists. We are not only separate from Mum; we actually want something other than what Mum seems to be giving us. We come to see that we have arms and legs and a mouth, so we use these tools to explore the world the way we want to. We learn that crying will have certain needs met. It is the aspect of “strong will” that ensures that our willed act — say, crying for food — contains enough intensity or “drive” to carry out its purpose (getting us fed).

In other words, have you ever seen a really hungry baby stop crying after a very short time if it is not fed? Generally, not. It is possible that our new diet or exercise regime has failed because we didn’t elicit the intensity or “drive” to the intention to exercise or stick to our new diet. We may need to explore what situations in life are keeping us from applying greater intensity to the question. Maybe our desire to change is not worth the requisite “will” or “energy”. The road of least resistance is very common as we age and accumulate more life responsibilities.

This is not true for everyone. Some people will vehemently proclaim that do want to change. It is not lack of wanting, or lack of “will”. What is missing may be the second aspect of “will”, equally important to the first: that of skilful will.

Skill

Several sayings are relevant here:

  1. Environment is stronger than will power.
  2. When imagination and will power go up against one another, imagination wins every time.

These axioms allude to the often-unrecognised reality that we cannot generally achieve our goals through strong will, alone. Consider the alcoholic who desperately wants to stop drinking but they continue relapsing. If we put our will into competition with other psychological forces — such as impulse or feeling — it becomes overwhelmed; we end up stressed without accomplishing our goal. What we are missing in this case is likely to be the capacity to develop strategy, approaching the goal skilfully, and practically. Oftentimes, we want to achieve our goal without attaining the skills necessary to achieve it.

If you want to lose weight, for example, could think that you simply need to eat fewer calories and the extra kilo’s will start dropping off. Calories in Vs Calories out. But your role as strategist can be very helpful if you establish, for example, whether you’re often in situations where controlling food intake is difficult: say, when going out to eat or eating at private parties, or it’s the holiday like Christmas. Are you eating balanced meals, with sufficient protein (for example) to sustain yourself? Are you getting enough sleep to avoid overproduction of the hunger-inducing hormone ghrelin? How much do you know about body composition, the endocrine system, metabolism, nutrition, and exercise physiology?

There are myriad ways to be skilful around weight loss plans, and you may need to consider adopting some of them for success. For example, do you have effective interpersonal skills to communicate your needs to the people in your life that exercise and healthy eating is valuable to you, and you need their support? Or do you have the skills to join a peer group that exercises regularly. Perhaps you could improve your financial skills to budget for a Personal Trainer.

If we must merely “strong-arm” ourselves to achieve every end, we end up exhausted and discouraged, with few accomplishments. “Skilful will” allows us to use will not as a direct power or force, but as a function which stimulates, regulates, and directs other functions of ourselves so that they lead to the goal. For example, learning mindful eating skills may cultivate a relationship with bodily sensations which allows you to observe the sensation of true hunger pains as opposed to times when you eat because of boredom or wanting to feel good (temporarily). You can also learn skills to meet alleviate boredom or feeling emotionally nourished in other ways.

Even with employing strong and skilful will, however, your may not achieve your goal(s). That’s okay. Please do not judge yourself. It’s what Buddhism called the second arrow. That is, you already didn’t meet your goal (the first arrow) and then you judge yourself for it (the second arrow). You are human, not superhuman.

A third aspect, equally important with the first two, may also need to be employed. It is “Virtuous Will”.

Virtue

Is your goal something you can achieve all by yourself through prudent use of strong and skilful will? No one is an island; we all live in communities and interact with family, friends, co-workers, gym instructors, enemies, and others on a regular basis. Those willed acts that succeed in accomplishing the will-er’s goal do so because they have considered the need to choose goals that are consistent with the welfare of others and the common good of humanity. They also must be consistent with “virtuous will” to the “self”.

The bottom line here is that many people need to do serious work around having virtuous will for themselves. For example, if you “hate” yourself for weighing more than what you would like, the motivation for change is unlikely to succeed because it is born in self-hatred. It is more effective to improve your self-esteem and sense of worth as a person, independent of your goal, so that any weight loss and subsequent weight maintenance can be in the context of “something I do to value myself; I like myself as I am and want to enhance the health of that self”.

Accessing transpersonal will

According to Roberto Assagioli, the founder of Psychosynthesis, using our will doesn’t stop with developing strong, skilful, and virtuous will: the three aspects of personal will. Assagioli claims that we can manifest all three of those and still be unhappy if we do not see how our personal goals align with something greater than ourselves. Having that solid sense of meaning and purpose to achieve something beyond the benefit of our little “self” helps us to reach beyond the limitations of ordinary consciousness to more expanded, intense states of awareness.

To yearn for that and not have it is what Viktor Frankl called “the abyss experience”: the opposite of Maslow’s peak experience (Boeree, 2006). Yet it is often in the abyss and despair of meaninglessness that we feel the pull of the superconscious, activating our transpersonal will and giving us access to another level of being. And then life becomes more interesting, as we try to balance the needs of material life (our immanence) and those of our higher levels of being (our transcendence), experienced as intentions arising from our transpersonal will.

Even the hypothetical person’s goal of weight loss (seemingly a very personal goal) may be able to access transpersonal will. Let’s say you lose the weight, arriving at your goal weight. You may enjoy a slender new body for a while, but ultimately that may not be enough to sustain lasting contentment, peace, and satisfaction. Looking “good” may not be the sole purpose of the original intention. If you can transform your goal, however, to a goal more inclusive of potential good for humanity as a whole — you may find that your personal will is aligned with transpersonal will. Just look at all the people on Youtube trying to help others, or the reward and continued sobriety members of Alcoholics Anonymous are given by “helping others”. Transpersonal will goes beyond the self and comes back to support our intention. Perhaps you want to write about healthy-body image as a method to transcend your Will to others.

The Will and the End of this Article

An effective and intentional use of will increases joy, openheartedness, and equanimity. Through use of not only strong will, but also skilful and good will — and perhaps even transpersonal will — your New Year’s resolutions will be far more likely to succeed, and you can experience willing as an act that leads to joy.

References

  1. Assagioli, R. (1973/1984). The act of will: A guide to self-actualization and self-realization. Wellingborough: Turnstone Press.
  2. Boeree, C. G. (2006). Viktor Frankl. Personality theories. Shippensburg University. Retrieved on 5 November, 2012, from: Website.
  3. Mental Health Academy. (n.d.). Understanding Will. Mental Health Academy.

Related Post

The Trolley Problem ProblemThe Trolley Problem Problem

Picture a runaway trolley hurtling down a track. Five people are tied to the rails ahead. On a side track, there is one person — a child. You are standing at the lever. Pull it, and the child dies. Leave it, and five adults are killed. What do you do?

This is the Trolley Problem — a thought experiment introduced by philosopher Philippa Foot in 1967 and endlessly debated ever since. It seems, at first glance, like a maths question dressed up in moral clothing. But the more honestly you sit with it, the more it reveals about something far deeper: what we actually believe about human life, responsibility, and the ethics of inaction… and perhaps the need for substantial more information in this hypothetical. We may also need to ask questions about the assumptions of the question, such as, why do we assume five lives are worth more than one when no measurable value can be placed on a life?

Can we really put a number on a life?

The utilitarian answer is clean and confident: pull the lever. Five lives outweigh one. The arithmetic is straightforward. But this assumes something that many of us instinctively resist — that human lives can be compared, ranked, or traded against one another like items on a balance sheet.

Philosophers call this the problem of incommensurability: the idea that some values simply cannot be reduced to a common scale. Five dollars is worth more than one dollar. But is five lives worth more than one life? The moment we accept that framing, we have already conceded something profound — that people are, in some sense, fungible. Interchangeable. Countable.

Most of us feel, in our bones, that this is wrong. And yet we struggle to articulate why.

“The moment we start counting lives,
we have already made a philosophical choice —
one with consequences far beyond any trolley.”

Context is not a distraction — it is the point

Consider what changes when we add detail to the dilemma. The five adults are elderly, estranged from family, and living rough. The one person is a child with parents who adore them, siblings, a whole life ahead. Does this change the calculus? Should it?

Many philosophers would say we are introducing emotional noise — that the exercise demands we strip away context to test our principles in their purest form. But there is a compelling counter-argument: stripping away context does not purify the dilemma. It destroys it. Because in the real world, a human life does not exist in isolation. It exists within a web of relationships, responsibilities, histories, and futures. The loss of one child reverberates through a family — through parents, siblings, grandparents, friends — in ways that may echo for generations. The loss of five people who have drifted from the world still has weight, still has meaning, but the ripples spread differently.

This is not sentimentality. It is, arguably, a more honest and sophisticated form of moral reasoning than the cold arithmetic of classical utilitarianism.

The Epistemic Objection is a well-recognized challenge. If consequentialism tells you to produce the best outcomes, but outcomes are radically unknowable, then the theory may be practically action-guiding in name only. You can never actually know you’re doing the right thing, which some philosophers argue renders it useless as a decision procedure even if it’s correct as a moral theory.

This connects to what philosophers call the “cluelessness problem”, articulated rigorously by philosopher William MacAskill and others. The argument runs roughly:

  • Consequentialism requires you to consider all consequences
  • Long-run consequences of any action are deeply uncertain and potentially vast
  • Therefore we are systematically clueless about what consequentialism actually requires of us
  • This is not a minor inconvenience — it may be a fundamental flaw

The Responses Consequentialists Make

To be fair, consequentialists have replies:

  • Expected value theory — you act on probabilities, not certainties. You use the best available estimate of outcomes
  • Rule consequentialism — instead of calculating act by act, you follow rules that generally produce good outcomes, sidestepping some epistemic chaos
  • Satisficing (good enough) consequentialism — you don’t need to maximise, just produce outcomes good enough

Is doing nothing really doing nothing?

Here is where the thought experiment takes its sharpest turn. Many people, when confronted with the trolley problem, feel that not pulling the lever is somehow morally safer — that inaction absolves them of responsibility. After all, they did not cause the trolley to exist. They did not tie anyone to the tracks.

But this reasoning deserves serious scrutiny. If you are standing at the lever, you have agency. You have full knowledge of the situation. You have the physical ability to intervene. At the moment you choose not to act, you are not opting out of the moral situation — you are making a deliberate choice within it. The mental process is identical to pulling the lever: you weigh your options and select one. The only difference is whether your hand moves.

The philosopher Peter Singer pushed this point hard with a simpler scenario: if you walked past a child drowning in a shallow pond and chose not to help because you didn’t want to ruin your clothes, almost everyone would consider you morally culpable. The water caused the drowning. But your character is revealed by what you were willing — and unwilling — to do.

“Inaction, when chosen consciously by someone with agency and the ability to intervene, is not a neutral act. It is a moral choice — and it tells us something real about who we are.”

This connects to the concept of moral cowardice: avoiding a difficult choice not because inaction is right, but because acting feels uncomfortable, costly, or risky. Virtue ethics — the tradition stretching back to Aristotle — holds that our character is defined not just by what we do, but by what we are willing to do, and what we are prepared to let happen when we could have stopped it.

Where we draw the line — and why it matters

There is another dimension to this worth sitting with: how we decide which living things deserve moral consideration in the first place. If we accept that all life has inherent value, where does that obligation end? Plants are alive. So are insects. So are fish, pigs, chimpanzees.

One principled place to draw the line is at sentience — the capacity to suffer, to experience fear, to feel pain. A heart, a brain, a nervous system suggest an inner life that a plant, however alive, does not possess. This is not a perfect boundary. But it is a reasoned one. And it connects back to the trolley problem in a meaningful way: if what matters morally is the capacity for suffering and the existence of relational bonds, then the texture of each life on those tracks — not just the number — is morally relevant information.

What the trolley problem is really asking

The Trolley Problem endures not because it has a correct answer, but because it refuses to let us hide. It exposes the gap between what we say we believe and what we are actually prepared to do. It forces us to confront whether our moral intuitions are consistent, and whether the frameworks we use — utilitarian calculation, duty-based ethics, virtue and character — can survive contact with a real dilemma.

The most honest response is not to solve the problem, but to feel its full weight. To resist the urge to reduce it to arithmetic. To acknowledge that human lives are not units of currency, that context is not a distraction, and that the decision to do nothing is itself a decision — one that reflects, for better or worse, something true about the person standing at the lever.

There’s always a “trolley” coming.

The trolley problem doesn’t tell us what to do; it tells you something about who you are and forces genuine reflection. That’s closer to virtue ethics territory, ironically — where the question shifts from what produces the best outcome to what does this choice reveal about, and do to, my character.


Eating Disorders DSM-5Eating Disorders DSM-5

Psychologists believe that the core issues of anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa are multifaceted, involving a combination of biological, psychological, and social factors. Here are some of the key issues:

Anorexia Nervosa

  1. Distorted Body Image: Individuals with anorexia often have a distorted perception of their body size and shape, seeing themselves as overweight even when they are underweight.
  2. Intense Fear of Gaining Weight: There is an overwhelming fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, which drives restrictive eating behaviors.
  3. Control Issues: Anorexia can be a way for individuals to exert control over their lives, especially if they feel powerless in other areas.
  4. Perfectionism: Many individuals with anorexia have perfectionistic tendencies, striving for an unattainable ideal of thinness.
  5. Emotional Regulation: Restricting food intake can be a way to manage or numb difficult emotions and stress.

Bulimia Nervosa

  1. Binge-Purge Cycle: Bulimia is characterized by cycles of binge eating followed by purging behaviors such as vomiting, excessive exercise, or misuse of laxatives.
  2. Body Dissatisfaction: Similar to anorexia, individuals with bulimia often have a negative body image and are preoccupied with their weight and shape.
  3. Impulsivity: Bulimia is often associated with impulsive behaviors and difficulties in regulating emotions.
  4. Shame and Guilt: After binge eating, individuals with bulimia often feel intense shame and guilt, which perpetuates the cycle of purging3.
  5. Co-occurring Mental Health Issues: Anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders are commonly seen in individuals with bulimia.

Both disorders are complex and can have severe physical and psychological consequences. Treatment typically involves addressing these core issues through therapy, medical monitoring, nutritional counselling, and support groups.

There’s nothing ‘fake’ about ‘faking it until you make it’There’s nothing ‘fake’ about ‘faking it until you make it’

When to Fake It Till You Make It (and When You Shouldn’t)

Faking it for the right reasons can change you for the better. Here’s why.

Posted Jun 27, 2016By Amy Morin

One day, a client came to see me because she felt socially awkward. She knew that her inability to make small talk was holding her back both personally and professionally. As a shy person, she hated going to networking events. But making connections was vital to her career.I asked, “What do you usually do when you go to a networking event?” She said, “I stand awkwardly off to the side and wait to see if anyone will come talk to me.” I asked her, “What would you do differently if you felt confident?” and she said, “I’d initiate conversation and introduce myself to people.”

Right then and there, she discovered the solution to her problem: If she wanted to feel more confident, she had to act more confident. That wasn’t quite what she wanted to hear. She’d hoped for a solution that would immediately make her feel more confident. But the key to becoming more comfortable in social situations is practice.Her instinct was to wait until she felt more confident, but that confidence wasn’t going to magically appear out of thin air—especially if she was standing around by herself. However, if she started talking to people like a confident person, she’d have an opportunity to experience successful social interactions, and each of these would boost her confidence.

Acting “As If”

Acting “as if” is a common prescription in psychotherapy. It’s based on the idea that if you behave like the person you want to become, you’ll become like this in reality:

1. If you want to feel happier, do what happy people do—smile.

2. If you want to get more work done, act as if you are a productive person.

3. If you want to have more friends, behave like a friendly person.

4. If you want to improve your relationship, practice being a good partner.Too often we hesitate to spring into action. Instead, we wait until everything feels just right or until we think we’re ready. But research shows that changing your behavior first can change the way you think and feel.

The Biggest Mistake Most People Make

Faking it until you make it only works when you correctly identify something within yourself that’s holding you back. Behaving like the person you want to become is about changing the way you feel and the way you think.If your motives are to prove your worth to other people, however, your efforts won’t be successful, and research shows that this approach actually backfires. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people who tried to prove their worth to others were more likely to dwell on their shortcomings. Ambitious professionals who wore luxury clothing in an effort to appear successful, and MBA students who wore Rolex watches to increase their self-worth just ended up feeling like bigger failures. Even worse, their attempts to project an image of success impaired their self-control. They struggled to resist temptation when they tried to prove that they were successful. Putting so much effort into faking it used up their mental resources and interfered with their ability to make good choices.

How to “Fake It” the Right Way

Acting “as if” doesn’t mean being phony or inauthentic. It’s about changing your behavior first and trusting the feelings will follow. As long as your motivation is in the right place, faking it until you make it can effectively make your goals become reality. Just make sure you’re interested in changing yourself on the inside, not simply trying to change other people’s perceptions of you.