Webb Therapy Uncategorized I’m Sorry

I’m Sorry

In Australia, as in many English-speaking cultures, saying “sorry” frequently can be attributed to several social and psychological factors:

  1. Politeness and Social Norms: Australians often use “sorry” as a form of politeness and to maintain social harmony. It acts as a social lubricant, helping to smooth over minor inconveniences and avoid confrontation. 
  2. Cultural Influence: The habit of saying “sorry” has deep roots in the English language and culture, where it evolved from expressing genuine remorse to a more formulaic use for minor inconveniences.
  3. Avoiding Conflict: Many people use “sorry” to quickly defuse potential conflicts or awkward situations. This can be especially common in cultures that tend to be indirect and prefer indirect forms of communication.
  4. Empathy and Consideration: Apologizing frequently can also reflect a high level of empathy and consideration for others’ feelings. It shows a desire to be seen as respectful and considerate.
  5. Low Self-Esteem or Insecurity: For some, over apologising can be a sign of low self-esteem or a learned behaviour from childhood, where they might have been taught to prioritize others’ feelings over their own.

These factors combine to make “sorry” a versatile and commonly used word in everyday Australian interactions.

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Welcome to Webb TherapyWelcome to Webb Therapy

Webb Therapy is a casual, affirming, and confidential, talking therapeutic process dedicated to supporting people who are experiencing anything, and want to talk about it. Webb Therapy offers a warm and integrative counselling service based in Sydney City. Led by Mitch Webb—a registered counsellor with the Australian Counselling Association.

  • Substance use disorders, addiction, and recovery
  • Emotion regulation, stress management, anxiety, depression, and behavioural change

Mission & Goals
Webb Therapy is dedicated to offering a safe space for you to share your inner experience and learn how to navigate psychological and emotional pain, elevate self‑awareness, and build sustainable positive change – whether it’s improving relationships, setting meaningful goals, or ending patterns that no longer serve you.

Facebook Presence: Webb Therapy
The Facebook page encapsulates Webb Therapy’s core ethos: “Unlearn. Learn. Accept. Embrace. Change. Grow. Increase Self‑awareness,” reinforcing its person‑centred, self‑development focus.

Please Phone 0488 555 731 to schedule a booking.
Price: $120.00 for a 60 minute session.
Please enquire if you are a low income earner or receiving Centrelink benefit.

Self-sabotage is self-sabotaging. Why would anyone do this?Self-sabotage is self-sabotaging. Why would anyone do this?

As I always like to say, there are as many reasons why people self-sabotage as there are people. A common theme is to protect the self from failure, feeling things we don’t want to feel, and to control our experiences.

One of the hidden culprits behind self-sabotage is the need for perfection and control. Self-sabotage has a strange way of helping us maintain the illusion that if only we had put in more effort or had better circumstances, everything would have worked out as it should. Social psychologists call this counter-intuitive strategy of regulating self-esteem ‘self-handicapping.’ It’s very seductive to engage in self-sabotage because the hidden payoff is high. It’s often easier to be a perfect whole rather than a real part. It’s a short-term solution that sidesteps the more arduous but ultimately more fulfilling work of individuation and self-realization. It takes risk, patience, suffering, and ultimately wisdom to come to the place where you can let go of self-sabotage and learn how to be real.

Behaviour is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with alcohol and other drugs, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting.

Self-sabotage originates in the internal critic we all have, the side that has been internalized by the undermining and negative voices we’ve encountered in our lives. This critic and ‘internal sabotuer,’ functions to keep the person from risking being hurt, shamed, or traumatized in the ways they had been in the past. While it keeps the individual safe, it does so at a very high cost, foreclosing the possibility of new, creative, and three-dimensional experiences. Like an addiction, self-sabotage insidiously lulls and deludes us into thinking that it has the answer. In fact, it is the problem masquerading as the solution. Nothing stops self-sabotage faster in its tracks than shining this particular light on it. Consciousness is true power. We need to let go of our illusions of omnipotence and perfection and see that it is only when we are real and imperfect that we can create a true work of art. Then and only then we can enjoy the gifts of being Real.

– Michael Alcée, Ph.D., Relational therapist/ Clinical psychologistArt: Bawa Manjit, Acrobat

Self-Sabotage | Psychology Today Australia

When our intelligent and necessary emotion – ANGER – becomes unhealthy and damagingWhen our intelligent and necessary emotion – ANGER – becomes unhealthy and damaging

The function of anger is to protect vulnerability and neutralize threat.

The threat humans cognitively perceive is almost always to the ego i.e., how we want to think of ourselves and have others think of us. Anger neutralizes ego-threat by devaluing, demeaning, or undermining the “power” of the person perceived to be threatening. Humans get angry when they don’t get what they want, when they’re disrespected, or when they perceive something is unjust/unfair. Anger, the emotion, is a chemical messenger. It communicates to us, to others, and motivates us to act, speak, do something. Healthy responses to anger include being assertive, feeling empowered, protecting ourselves and love ones from ACTUAL threat, setting boundaries with others, and making social change for justice (for example). It becomes unhealthy when we become passive-aggressive, violent, vengeful, spiteful, aggressive, resentful, sarcastic, “moody”, rude etc.

Receive the message and respond from a wise, calm place after the intensity of the emotion has past. Sometimes we have to act in the moment. Our ancestors may have required this for fight/flight survival. These days, we can generally PAUSE and calm the self before responding from a mindful and compassionate heart and mind. Remember: Hurt people, hurt people.

Sigmund Freud’s classic Defence Mechanism’sSigmund Freud’s classic Defence Mechanism’s

Projection: Attributing one’s unacceptable feelings or desires to someone else. For example, if a bully constantly ridicules a peer about insecurities, the bully might be projecting his own struggle with self-esteem onto the other person.

Denial: Refusing to recognize or acknowledge real facts or experiences that would lead to anxiety. For instance, someone with substance use disorder might not be able to clearly see his problem.

Repression: Blocking difficult thoughts from entering into consciousness, such as a trauma survivor shutting out a tragic experience.

Regression: Reverting to the behaviour or emotions of an earlier developmental stage.

Rationalization: Justifying a mistake or problematic feeling with seemingly logical reasons or explanations.

Displacement: Redirecting an emotional reaction from the rightful recipient to another person altogether. For example, if a manager screams at an employee, the employee doesn’t scream back—but the employee may yell at her partner later that night.

Reaction Formation: Behaving or expressing the opposite of one’s true feelings. For instance, a man who feels insecure about his masculinity might act overly aggressive.

Sublimation: Channelling sexual or unacceptable urges into a productive outlet, such as work or a hobby.

Intellectualization: Focusing on the intellectual rather than emotional consequences of a situation. For example, if a roommate unexpectedly moved out, the other person might conduct a detailed financial analysis rather than discussing their hurt feelings.

Compartmentalization: Separating components of one’s life into different categories to prevent conflicting emotions.