In Australia, as in many English-speaking cultures, saying “sorry” frequently can be attributed to several social and psychological factors:
Politeness and Social Norms: Australians often use “sorry” as a form of politeness and to maintain social harmony. It acts as a social lubricant, helping to smooth over minor inconveniences and avoid confrontation.
Cultural Influence: The habit of saying “sorry” has deep roots in the English language and culture, where it evolved from expressing genuine remorse to a more formulaic use for minor inconveniences.
Avoiding Conflict: Many people use “sorry” to quickly defuse potential conflicts or awkward situations. This can be especially common in cultures that tend to be indirect and prefer indirect forms of communication.
Empathy and Consideration: Apologizing frequently can also reflect a high level of empathy and consideration for others’ feelings. It shows a desire to be seen as respectful and considerate.
Low Self-Esteem or Insecurity: For some, over apologising can be a sign of low self-esteem or a learned behaviour from childhood, where they might have been taught to prioritize others’ feelings over their own.
These factors combine to make “sorry” a versatile and commonly used word in everyday Australian interactions.
Webb Therapy is a casual, affirming, and confidential, talking therapeutic process dedicated to supporting people who are experiencing anything, and want to talk about it. Webb Therapy offers a warm and integrative counselling service based in Sydney City. Led by Mitch Webb—a registered counsellor with the Australian Counselling Association.
He also has strong expertise in helping with:
Substance use disorders, addiction, and recovery
Emotion regulation, stress management, anxiety, depression, and behavioural change
Mission & Goals Webb Therapy is dedicated to offering a safe space for you to share your inner experience and learn how to navigate psychological and emotional pain, elevate self‑awareness, and build sustainable positive change – whether it’s improving relationships, setting meaningful goals, or ending patterns that no longer serve you.
Please Phone 0488 555 731 to schedule a booking. Price: $120.00 for a 60 minute session.Please enquire if you are a low income earner or receiving Centrelink benefit.
This is a subtle but important distinction—excuses often sound like reasons, which is why it can be confusing. Let’s break it down clearly.
1. Core difference
Aspect
Reason
Excuse
Definition
An explanation for why something happened, based on facts or legitimate circumstances.
An attempt to justify or defend a behavior, often to avoid blame or responsibility.
Purpose
To clarify or explain objectively.
To deflect responsibility or make oneself appear less accountable.
Truthfulness
Usually true and relevant.
Can be true, partly true, or sometimes fabricated; often selectively presented.
Effect
Helps others (or yourself) understand the situation.
Helps avoid criticism or guilt; may not genuinely resolve the issue.
2. How they feel in practice
Reason example: “I missed the meeting because the train was delayed due to an accident.”
It’s factual, external, and unavoidable.
Excuse example: “I missed the meeting because traffic was terrible.”
May be partially true, but it avoids full responsibility, like leaving early, not planning ahead, or not checking alternatives.
Sometimes excuses can sound like reasons if they include a kernel of truth. The difference is often intention and accountability:
If the explanation acknowledges your role or is verifiable, it’s a reason.
If it shifts blame or deflects responsibility, it’s an excuse.
3. Quick test to distinguish them
Ask yourself:
Does this explanation take ownership of what I could control?
Is it meant to inform or to justify?
Would I offer the same explanation if I were fully accountable?
If yes → Reason
If no → Excuse
everyday examples of reasons vs. excuses across different areas. I’ll show why some things sound like reasons but are actually excuses.
1. Dating / Social Life
Scenario
Reason
Excuse
You cancel a date
“I have a high fever and shouldn’t go out.”
“I was too tired, traffic was bad, and it was going to rain.” ❌ (shifts responsibility to external factors rather than personal choice)
You forget to reply to messages
“I was on a work trip with limited phone access.”
“I didn’t reply because I was busy and you wouldn’t understand anyway.” ❌ (blames the other person and avoids owning the choice)
Key: A reason explains something honestly. An excuse tries to minimise perceived fault. Key insight here:
A statement can bepart reason, part excuse. The difference often comes down to which element you emphasise and how you frame it.
Valid, reason-focused version: “I’m really exhausted and need to rest tonight so I can be ready for tomorrow. Can we reschedule?”
Takes ownership, honest, emphasises your physical/mental limit.
Excuse-heavy version: “I didn’t want to go because traffic was bad, potential rain, and I was tired.”
Blames external factors first, makes it sound like avoidance rather than legitimate self-care.
Your perception matters. If fatigue is real, it’s a valid reason, not an excuse. The “excuse” label is mostly about statements that use partially true or exaggerated external factors to justify avoidance, rather than honest, understandable limits.
2. Work / School
Scenario
Reason
Excuse
Missed a deadline
“I underestimated the time needed for this task; I’ll adjust my schedule next time.”
“The instructions weren’t very clear and the system was going slow, so I couldn’t finish.” ❌ (shifts responsibility, even if partly true)
Poor performance
“I didn’t have enough data to make a complete analysis.”
“The team didn’t give me enough support, so it’s not my fault.” ❌ (focuses on others rather than personal accountability)
Key: Reasons acknowledge what happened and provide context. Excuses often imply “it’s not really my fault.”
3. Personal / Everyday Life
Scenario
Reason
Excuse
Late to a social gathering
“The bus broke down and I left early to catch it.”
“I left on time but buses are always late.” ❌ (blames circumstances without taking steps to prevent being late)
Didn’t keep a promise
“I forgot because I put it on the wrong calendar; I’ll set a reminder next time.”
“I forgot because I’ve been too busy and stressed.” ❌ (partly true, but framed to deflect personal responsibility)
4. Key Patterns to Spot
Reason: Explains what happened, takes some ownership, is often verifiable.
Excuse: Explains why it’s not your fault, often blames external factors or minimises responsibility.
Trick: Excuses can be dressed up with facts, which is why they sound like reasons—but the difference is ownership and intention.
“There is no such thing as a list of reasons. There is either one sufficient reason or a list of excuses.” — Robert Brault.
“It is easier to find an excuse than to find a reason.” — Doug Brown.
“Reasons become excuses when they are used to avoid responsibility or to be accountable.” — Dave Anderson
There’s a substantial body of psychological research that touches on excuses, reasons, and how people justify their behaviour.
1. Excuses in psychology
Often studied under concepts like self-justification, self-handicapping, and impression management.
Key idea: People sometimes give excuses to protect self-esteem or avoid negative social judgement.
Examples from research:
Self-Handicapping: When people create obstacles for themselves (e.g., “I didn’t study because I was tired”) so if they fail, they have an excuse. This is well-studied in educational and performance psychology (e.g., Jones & Berglas, 1978).
Impression Management: Excuses can be used to manage how others perceive you—making yourself look less at fault or more sympathetic (Leary & Kowalski, 1990).
Moral Psychology: People distinguish between excuses (to deflect blame) and justifications (to explain actions as morally acceptable). Excuses are seen as reducing personal responsibility, whereas justifications are claiming the act is okay under circumstances (Shaver, 1985).
2. Valid reasons
Studied more under attribution theory: how people explain causes for their behaviour.
Internal vs. external attribution:
Internal: “I didn’t finish because I didn’t plan properly.”
External: “I didn’t finish because the bus was late.”
A valid reason often corresponds to an explanation that is fact-based, relevant, and seen as legitimate by social norms, while an excuse may rely on controllable factors framed as uncontrollable.
Research highlights:
People are more likely to accept explanations as valid reasons if they acknowledge personal responsibility (Miller & Ross, 1975).
Excuses are more likely to be accepted if they appeal to external constraints beyond one’s control, even if the person could have done something differently.
3. Subtle distinctions in research
Excuse: Often functions to protect self-image or avoid punishment/blame.
Reason: Functions to inform others of causality; it may include personal responsibility and is usually perceived as legitimate.
Studies show that people are much more forgiving when a reason signals honesty and unavoidable constraints, versus an excuse that signals avoidance of responsibility.
4. Practical implications
Being clear about whether you’re giving a reason or an excuse affects trust and credibility in relationships.
Psychologically, framing your explanation around ownership and unavoidable factors makes it more likely to be perceived as a reason rather than an excuse.
Hello readers. I hope you are well. I imagine some of you are struggling and some of you are flourishing. Life consists of both. As humans, we relish pleasurable feelings and experiences and we tend to dislike uncomfortable emotions and experiences. I get it. I am just like you. We share this. I hope that provides some comfort.
What is human development?
Human development can be described as “systematic changes and continuities in the individual that occur between conception and death, or from “womb to tomb”” (Sigelman, De George, Cunial, & Rider, 2019, p. 3).
Human development involves the continuities (i.e., what remains consistent across time) and the systematic changes (i.e., patterns of change that are expected to come in order across time) that one experiences throughout the lifespan. Based on my education, there are three domains of continuity and change: 1. The physical and biological, 2. Cognitive (i.e., mind processes/thinking), and 3. Psychosocial and emotional. Let’s open these one at a time.
Physical development includes:
Physical and biological processes (e.g., genetic inheritance).
Growth of the body and its organs.
Functioning of physiological systems (e.g., brain).
Health and wellness.
Physical signs of ageing and changes in motor abilities.
Cognitive development includes:
Perception: the sensing of stimuli in our environment (internal and external), sending that information to the brain to be identified and interpreted in order to represent and understand our experience of the world and give it meaning. All perception involves signals that go through the nervous system.
Attention: the ability to actively (and often, involuntarily) process specific information in the environment while tuning out other details. Attention is a very interesting cognitive process because when we bring mindfulness to our thoughts we become open to the direction and attention of our mind. Remember this: where attention goes, energy flows.
Language: very broadly, Language is a communication system that involves using words (i.e., sounds arranged together) and systematic rules to organise those words into sentences and meaning, to transmit information from one individual to another. I was never very interested in language when I was studying at university however that has changed. We used language and concepts to talk to ourselves, about other people, and it is open to misinterpretation, error, and oftentimes language can be used as a means to hurt people or … bring us closer together.
Learning: very broadly defined as a relatively permanent change in behaviour, thinking, and understanding as a result of experience. Experience is everything from formal education to unique personal experience. We learn from each other, the world around us, books, movies, self-reflection and education etc. All of which are experiences.
Memory: Memory refers to the processes that are used to gather, organise, store, retain, and later retrieve information. I’m sure you’ve all seen a tv show or read a book about a person with Amnesia or Alzheimer’s disease. Imagine what your life would be like if you didn’t have the function of memory. I wouldn’t be able to type this very well, I don’t think. I wouldn’t remember my loved ones or what was dangerous in my environment. I know we all have unpleasant memories too and that may feel like a negative evolutionary by-product – however it is actually designed to protect us. Memory is finite – we actually forget a lot of stuff, or perhaps more accurately, we do not have the capacity to store and recall everything we experience.
Intelligence: I would like to reframe intelligence from what might be a common belief. Intelligence does not mean academically gifted as is considered valuable in Western society. I think Olympians and caregivers/parents have an intelligence that I do not because I haven’t learned their skills. Intelligence involves the ability to learn (i.e., sport, academics, the arts, swimming, survival, interpersonal skills), emotional knowledge, creativity, and adaptation to meet the demands of the environment effectively
Creativity: I consider creativity to be an evolutionary gift of our imagination, providing humans with the ability to generate and recognize ideas, consider alternatives, think of possibilities that may be useful in solving problems, communicating with others, and entertaining ourselves and others. Creativity can be stunted when we are struggling or caught in reactivity to external pressures or perceived stress.
Problem solving: is a process – yes, a cognitive one but also a behavioural process. It is the act of defining a problem; determining the cause of the problem; identifying, prioritizing, and selecting alternatives for a solution; and implementing a solution. Problem solving can be both creative or stress driven. I like to say whenever I am solving a problem I am also making a decision. A decision of mine is a choice. At university, our problem solving lessons were coincided with decision making which is why I think of it that way.
Psychosocial development involves:
Aspects of the self (i.e., your identity – which may change over time), and social and interpersonal interactions which include motives, emotions, personality traits, morality, social skills, and relationships, and roles played in the family and in the larger society. This is a huge area to be explored. I will endeavour to elaborate on our psychosocial development in later blogs.
In the late 1950’s, a German-American developmental psychologist named Erik Erikson created a theory for human psychosocial development across the lifespan. His theory suggests that human personality develops in a predetermined order through 8 stages of psychosocial development. See the table below:
Age or Stage
Conflict
Example
Resolution or “virtue”
Key Question to be answered
Infancy(0 to 18 months)
Trust vs. Mistrust
Being feed and cared for by caregiver.
Hope
Is my world safe? Will I be cared for?
Early Childhood(2 to 3 years)
Autonomy (personal control) vs. Shame and Doubt
Toilet training and getting dressed.
WillI would add self-efficacy here too.
Can I do things for myself, or will I always rely on others?
Preschool(3 to 5 years)
Initiative vs. Guilt
Interacting with other children and asserting themselves in their environment e.g., during play.
PurposeTaking initiative, leading others, asserting ideas produces a sense of purpose.
Am I liked by others or do I experience disapproval by others?
School Age(6 to 11 years)
Industry (competence) vs. Inferiority
Starting formal education and participating in activities.
Competence
How can I do well and be accepted by others?
Adolescence(12 to 18 years)
Identity vs. Role Confusion (uncertainty of self and role in society)
Developing social relationships with peers and sense of identity.
Fidelity (loyalty)The ability to maintain loyalty to others based on accepting others despite differences.
Who am I and where am I going in my life? What are my personal beliefs, values and goals?
Young Adult(19 to 40 years)
Intimacy vs. Isolation
Developing intimate relationships.
Love
Am I loved and desired by another? Will I be loved long-term?
Mature Adult(40 to 65 years)
Generativity vs. Stagnation
Vocation and parenting, typically.
CareContributing to the world to demonstrate that you care.
Will I provide something to this world of real value? E.g., children or valuable work, art, a legacy etc.
Maturity(65 year to death)
Ego Identity vs. Despair
Reflection of your life. Feelings of satisfaction and wholeness.
Wisdom
Was I productive with my life? Can I accept my life and have a sense of closure and completeness?
