Webb Therapy Uncategorized Continued guilt, shame, and internalised stigma correlated to alcohol and other drug use

Continued guilt, shame, and internalised stigma correlated to alcohol and other drug use

| Mitchell WebbMitchell Webb| 0 Comment |
Categories: Uncategorized

Despite significant advancements in political and health initiatives by governments and non-governmental organisations, shame, stigma, and internalized stigma continue to profoundly impact millions of lives worldwide. These negative perceptions and self-judgments can lead to feelings of worthlessness, self-blame, and social withdrawal, which in turn hinder access to services and participation in treatment.

Shame and stigma are particularly prevalent among individuals with substance use disorders, mental health conditions, and those experiencing psychosis. For instance, internalised stigma can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and hopelessness, which significantly impede recovery and emotional well-being. Even with the implementation of cognitive therapy and other supportive measures, the battle against internalised stigma remains ongoing in a similar fashion to intergenerational trauma, as though it has been built into human DNA.

Political and health initiatives have attempted to be instrumental in addressing these issues. For example, the Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care has launched numerous programs aimed at improving health outcomes and reducing stigma. These initiatives focus on health promotion, early intervention, and disease prevention, aiming to create supportive environments for those affected by stigma.

However, the persistence of shame and stigma highlights the need for continued efforts to combat these issues especially in the workplace and within individual families. Addressing stigma therapeutically, promoting empathy and non-judgmental attitudes, and supporting individuals to view themselves beyond their conditions are crucial steps in mitigating the negative impacts of stigma.

Helping someone with a substance use disorder (SUD) while protecting yourself and your family involves a delicate balance of support and self-care. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Educate Yourself

Understanding SUD and its effects can help you make informed decisions and provide better support. Reliable sources include medical professionals, reputable websites, and support groups.

2. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries to protect your well-being. This might include rules about substance use in the home, financial support, and personal interactions. Boundaries help prevent enabling behaviours and reduce stress.

3. Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is crucial. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with friends. Self-care helps you maintain your mental and emotional health.

4. Seek Support

Join support groups like Al-Anon or seek therapy to process your emotions and develop coping strategies. Connecting with others who are going through similar experiences can provide invaluable support and understanding.

5. Encourage Professional Help

Encourage your loved one to seek professional help, such as counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. Treatment programs often include individual, group, or family therapy sessions, which can be beneficial for everyone involved.

6. Detach with Love

Detaching with love means setting emotional and psychological boundaries while still offering support. This approach helps you avoid becoming emotionally drained and allows your loved one to face the consequences of their actions.

7. Be Patient and Compassionate

Recovery is a journey that takes time. Be patient and compassionate with your loved one and yourself. Celebrate small victories and stay hopeful.

8. Avoid Judgment

Avoid being judgmental when discussing substance use. Offer support and understanding instead of criticism, which can help reduce feelings of shame and stigma.

References

Al-Anon Family Groups. (n.d.). Al-Anon and Alateen. Retrieved from https://al-anon.org/newcomers/what-is-al-anon-and-alateen

Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care. (2024). Initiatives and programs. Retrieved from https://www.health.gov.au/about-us/what-we-do/initiatives-and-programs

Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2024). Health promotion and health protection. Retrieved from https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/australias-health/health-promotion

Australian Government Department of Health. (2019). Alcohol and other drugs – Information for families. Retrieved from https://www.health.gov.au/resources/collections/alcohol-and-other-drugs-information-for-families

Mental Health Foundation. (2016). How to cope when supporting someone else. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/how-cope-when-supporting-someone-else

Morrison, A. P., Birchwood, M., Pyle, M., Flach, C., Stewart, S. L. K., Byrne, R., Patterson, P., Jones, P. B., Fowler, D., & Gumley, A. I. (2013). Impact of cognitive therapy on internalised stigma in people with at-risk mental states. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 203(2), 140-145. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.112.112110

National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2020). Family support in addiction recovery. Retrieved from https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/principles-adolescent-substance-use-disorder-treatment-research-based-guide/family-support-in-addiction-recovery

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2015). Substance use disorders. Retrieved from https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disorders

Wood, L., Byrne, R., Burke, E., Enache, G., & Morrison, A. P. (2017). The impact of stigma on emotional distress and recovery from psychosis: The mediatory role of internalised shame and self-esteem. Retrieved from https://repository.essex.ac.uk/21927/1/woodpr2017.pdf

Your Room. (2021). Shame and self-stigma. Retrieved from https://yourroom.health.nsw.gov.au/whats-new/Pages/Shame-and-self-stigma.aspx

Related Post

Welcome to Webb TherapyWelcome to Webb Therapy

| Mitchell WebbMitchell Webb| 0 Comment|

Webb Therapy is a casual, affirming, and confidential, talking therapeutic process dedicated to supporting people who are experiencing anything, and want to talk about it. Webb Therapy offers a warm and integrative counselling service based in Sydney City. Led by Mitch Webb—a registered counsellor with the Australian Counselling Association.

He also has strong expertise in helping with:

  • Substance use disorders, addiction, and recovery
  • Emotion regulation, stress management, anxiety, depression, and behavioural change

Mission & Goals
Webb Therapy is dedicated to offering a safe space for you to share your inner experience and learn how to navigate psychological and emotional pain, elevate self‑awareness, and build sustainable positive change – whether it’s improving relationships, setting meaningful goals, or ending patterns that no longer serve you.

Facebook Presence: Webb Therapy
The Facebook page encapsulates Webb Therapy’s core ethos: “Unlearn. Learn. Accept. Embrace. Change. Grow. Increase Self‑awareness,” reinforcing its person‑centred, self‑development focus.

Please Phone 0488 555 731 to schedule a booking.
Price: $120.00 for a 60 minute session. Please enquire if you are a low income earner or receiving Centrelink benefit.

Read MoreRead More

What’s the difference between an ‘excuse’ and a valid ‘reason’? Sometimes excuses sound like reasons.What’s the difference between an ‘excuse’ and a valid ‘reason’? Sometimes excuses sound like reasons.

| Mitchell WebbMitchell Webb| 0 Comment|

This is a subtle but important distinction—excuses often sound like reasons, which is why it can be confusing. Let’s break it down clearly.

1. Core difference

AspectReasonExcuse
DefinitionAn explanation for why something happened, based on facts or legitimate circumstances.An attempt to justify or defend a behavior, often to avoid blame or responsibility.
PurposeTo clarify or explain objectively.To deflect responsibility or make oneself appear less accountable.
TruthfulnessUsually true and relevant.Can be true, partly true, or sometimes fabricated; often selectively presented.
EffectHelps others (or yourself) understand the situation.Helps avoid criticism or guilt; may not genuinely resolve the issue.

2. How they feel in practice

  • Reason example: “I missed the meeting because the train was delayed due to an accident.”
    • It’s factual, external, and unavoidable.
  • Excuse example: “I missed the meeting because traffic was terrible.”
    • May be partially true, but it avoids full responsibility, like leaving early, not planning ahead, or not checking alternatives.

Sometimes excuses can sound like reasons if they include a kernel of truth. The difference is often intention and accountability:

  • If the explanation acknowledges your role or is verifiable, it’s a reason.
  • If it shifts blame or deflects responsibility, it’s an excuse.

3. Quick test to distinguish them

Ask yourself:

  1. Does this explanation take ownership of what I could control?
  2. Is it meant to inform or to justify?
  3. Would I offer the same explanation if I were fully accountable?
  • If yes → Reason
  • If no → Excuse

everyday examples of reasons vs. excuses across different areas. I’ll show why some things sound like reasons but are actually excuses.

1. Dating / Social Life

ScenarioReasonExcuse
You cancel a date“I have a high fever and shouldn’t go out.” “I was too tired, traffic was bad, and it was going to rain.” ❌ (shifts responsibility to external factors rather than personal choice)
You forget to reply to messages“I was on a work trip with limited phone access.” “I didn’t reply because I was busy and you wouldn’t understand anyway.” ❌ (blames the other person and avoids owning the choice)

Key: A reason explains something honestly. An excuse tries to minimise perceived fault. Key insight here:

A statement can be part reason, part excuse. The difference often comes down to which element you emphasise and how you frame it.

  • Valid, reason-focused version: “I’m really exhausted and need to rest tonight so I can be ready for tomorrow. Can we reschedule?”
    • Takes ownership, honest, emphasises your physical/mental limit.
  • Excuse-heavy version: “I didn’t want to go because traffic was bad, potential rain, and I was tired.”
    • Blames external factors first, makes it sound like avoidance rather than legitimate self-care.

Your perception matters. If fatigue is real, it’s a valid reason, not an excuse. The “excuse” label is mostly about statements that use partially true or exaggerated external factors to justify avoidance, rather than honest, understandable limits.

2. Work / School

ScenarioReasonExcuse
Missed a deadline“I underestimated the time needed for this task; I’ll adjust my schedule next time.” “The instructions weren’t very clear and the system was going slow, so I couldn’t finish.” ❌ (shifts responsibility, even if partly true)
Poor performance“I didn’t have enough data to make a complete analysis.” “The team didn’t give me enough support, so it’s not my fault.” ❌ (focuses on others rather than personal accountability)

Key: Reasons acknowledge what happened and provide context. Excuses often imply “it’s not really my fault.”

3. Personal / Everyday Life

ScenarioReasonExcuse
Late to a social gathering“The bus broke down and I left early to catch it.” “I left on time but buses are always late.” ❌ (blames circumstances without taking steps to prevent being late)
Didn’t keep a promise“I forgot because I put it on the wrong calendar; I’ll set a reminder next time.” “I forgot because I’ve been too busy and stressed.” ❌ (partly true, but framed to deflect personal responsibility)

4. Key Patterns to Spot

  • Reason: Explains what happened, takes some ownership, is often verifiable.
  • Excuse: Explains why it’s not your fault, often blames external factors or minimises responsibility.
  • Trick: Excuses can be dressed up with facts, which is why they sound like reasons—but the difference is ownership and intention.

“There is no such thing as a list of reasons. There is either one sufficient reason or a list of excuses.” — Robert Brault.

“It is easier to find an excuse than to find a reason.” — Doug Brown.

“Reasons become excuses when they are used to avoid responsibility or to be accountable.” — Dave Anderson

    There’s a substantial body of psychological research that touches on excuses, reasons, and how people justify their behaviour.

    1. Excuses in psychology

    • Often studied under concepts like self-justification, self-handicapping, and impression management.
    • Key idea: People sometimes give excuses to protect self-esteem or avoid negative social judgement.

    Examples from research:

    • Self-Handicapping: When people create obstacles for themselves (e.g., “I didn’t study because I was tired”) so if they fail, they have an excuse. This is well-studied in educational and performance psychology (e.g., Jones & Berglas, 1978).
    • Impression Management: Excuses can be used to manage how others perceive you—making yourself look less at fault or more sympathetic (Leary & Kowalski, 1990).
    • Moral Psychology: People distinguish between excuses (to deflect blame) and justifications (to explain actions as morally acceptable). Excuses are seen as reducing personal responsibility, whereas justifications are claiming the act is okay under circumstances (Shaver, 1985).

    2. Valid reasons

    • Studied more under attribution theory: how people explain causes for their behaviour.
    • Internal vs. external attribution:
      • Internal: “I didn’t finish because I didn’t plan properly.”
      • External: “I didn’t finish because the bus was late.”
    • A valid reason often corresponds to an explanation that is fact-based, relevant, and seen as legitimate by social norms, while an excuse may rely on controllable factors framed as uncontrollable.

    Research highlights:

    • People are more likely to accept explanations as valid reasons if they acknowledge personal responsibility (Miller & Ross, 1975).
    • Excuses are more likely to be accepted if they appeal to external constraints beyond one’s control, even if the person could have done something differently.

    3. Subtle distinctions in research

    • Excuse: Often functions to protect self-image or avoid punishment/blame.
    • Reason: Functions to inform others of causality; it may include personal responsibility and is usually perceived as legitimate.
    • Studies show that people are much more forgiving when a reason signals honesty and unavoidable constraints, versus an excuse that signals avoidance of responsibility.

    4. Practical implications

    • Being clear about whether you’re giving a reason or an excuse affects trust and credibility in relationships.
    • Psychologically, framing your explanation around ownership and unavoidable factors makes it more likely to be perceived as a reason rather than an excuse.
    Read MoreRead More

    There’s nothing ‘fake’ about ‘faking it until you make it’There’s nothing ‘fake’ about ‘faking it until you make it’

    | Mitchell WebbMitchell Webb| 0 Comment|

    When to Fake It Till You Make It (and When You Shouldn’t)

    Faking it for the right reasons can change you for the better. Here’s why.

    Posted Jun 27, 2016By Amy Morin

    One day, a client came to see me because she felt socially awkward. She knew that her inability to make small talk was holding her back both personally and professionally. As a shy person, she hated going to networking events. But making connections was vital to her career.I asked, “What do you usually do when you go to a networking event?” She said, “I stand awkwardly off to the side and wait to see if anyone will come talk to me.” I asked her, “What would you do differently if you felt confident?” and she said, “I’d initiate conversation and introduce myself to people.”

    Right then and there, she discovered the solution to her problem: If she wanted to feel more confident, she had to act more confident. That wasn’t quite what she wanted to hear. She’d hoped for a solution that would immediately make her feel more confident. But the key to becoming more comfortable in social situations is practice.Her instinct was to wait until she felt more confident, but that confidence wasn’t going to magically appear out of thin air—especially if she was standing around by herself. However, if she started talking to people like a confident person, she’d have an opportunity to experience successful social interactions, and each of these would boost her confidence.

    Acting “As If”

    Acting “as if” is a common prescription in psychotherapy. It’s based on the idea that if you behave like the person you want to become, you’ll become like this in reality:

    1. If you want to feel happier, do what happy people do—smile.

    2. If you want to get more work done, act as if you are a productive person.

    3. If you want to have more friends, behave like a friendly person.

    4. If you want to improve your relationship, practice being a good partner.Too often we hesitate to spring into action. Instead, we wait until everything feels just right or until we think we’re ready. But research shows that changing your behavior first can change the way you think and feel.

    The Biggest Mistake Most People Make

    Faking it until you make it only works when you correctly identify something within yourself that’s holding you back. Behaving like the person you want to become is about changing the way you feel and the way you think.If your motives are to prove your worth to other people, however, your efforts won’t be successful, and research shows that this approach actually backfires. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people who tried to prove their worth to others were more likely to dwell on their shortcomings. Ambitious professionals who wore luxury clothing in an effort to appear successful, and MBA students who wore Rolex watches to increase their self-worth just ended up feeling like bigger failures. Even worse, their attempts to project an image of success impaired their self-control. They struggled to resist temptation when they tried to prove that they were successful. Putting so much effort into faking it used up their mental resources and interfered with their ability to make good choices.

    How to “Fake It” the Right Way

    Acting “as if” doesn’t mean being phony or inauthentic. It’s about changing your behavior first and trusting the feelings will follow. As long as your motivation is in the right place, faking it until you make it can effectively make your goals become reality. Just make sure you’re interested in changing yourself on the inside, not simply trying to change other people’s perceptions of you.

    Read MoreRead More