Webb Therapy Uncategorized Continued guilt, shame, and internalised stigma correlated to alcohol and other drug use

Continued guilt, shame, and internalised stigma correlated to alcohol and other drug use

| Mitchell WebbMitchell Webb| 0 Comment |
Categories: Uncategorized

Despite significant advancements in political and health initiatives by governments and non-governmental organisations, shame, stigma, and internalized stigma continue to profoundly impact millions of lives worldwide. These negative perceptions and self-judgments can lead to feelings of worthlessness, self-blame, and social withdrawal, which in turn hinder access to services and participation in treatment.

Shame and stigma are particularly prevalent among individuals with substance use disorders, mental health conditions, and those experiencing psychosis. For instance, internalised stigma can lead to low self-esteem, depression, and hopelessness, which significantly impede recovery and emotional well-being. Even with the implementation of cognitive therapy and other supportive measures, the battle against internalised stigma remains ongoing in a similar fashion to intergenerational trauma, as though it has been built into human DNA.

Political and health initiatives have attempted to be instrumental in addressing these issues. For example, the Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care has launched numerous programs aimed at improving health outcomes and reducing stigma. These initiatives focus on health promotion, early intervention, and disease prevention, aiming to create supportive environments for those affected by stigma.

However, the persistence of shame and stigma highlights the need for continued efforts to combat these issues especially in the workplace and within individual families. Addressing stigma therapeutically, promoting empathy and non-judgmental attitudes, and supporting individuals to view themselves beyond their conditions are crucial steps in mitigating the negative impacts of stigma.

Helping someone with a substance use disorder (SUD) while protecting yourself and your family involves a delicate balance of support and self-care. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Educate Yourself

Understanding SUD and its effects can help you make informed decisions and provide better support. Reliable sources include medical professionals, reputable websites, and support groups.

2. Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries to protect your well-being. This might include rules about substance use in the home, financial support, and personal interactions. Boundaries help prevent enabling behaviours and reduce stress.

3. Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself is crucial. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with friends. Self-care helps you maintain your mental and emotional health.

4. Seek Support

Join support groups like Al-Anon or seek therapy to process your emotions and develop coping strategies. Connecting with others who are going through similar experiences can provide invaluable support and understanding.

5. Encourage Professional Help

Encourage your loved one to seek professional help, such as counselling, therapy, or medical treatment. Treatment programs often include individual, group, or family therapy sessions, which can be beneficial for everyone involved.

6. Detach with Love

Detaching with love means setting emotional and psychological boundaries while still offering support. This approach helps you avoid becoming emotionally drained and allows your loved one to face the consequences of their actions.

7. Be Patient and Compassionate

Recovery is a journey that takes time. Be patient and compassionate with your loved one and yourself. Celebrate small victories and stay hopeful.

8. Avoid Judgment

Avoid being judgmental when discussing substance use. Offer support and understanding instead of criticism, which can help reduce feelings of shame and stigma.

References

Al-Anon Family Groups. (n.d.). Al-Anon and Alateen. Retrieved from https://al-anon.org/newcomers/what-is-al-anon-and-alateen

Australian Government Department of Health and Aged Care. (2024). Initiatives and programs. Retrieved from https://www.health.gov.au/about-us/what-we-do/initiatives-and-programs

Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. (2024). Health promotion and health protection. Retrieved from https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/australias-health/health-promotion

Australian Government Department of Health. (2019). Alcohol and other drugs – Information for families. Retrieved from https://www.health.gov.au/resources/collections/alcohol-and-other-drugs-information-for-families

Mental Health Foundation. (2016). How to cope when supporting someone else. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/how-cope-when-supporting-someone-else

Morrison, A. P., Birchwood, M., Pyle, M., Flach, C., Stewart, S. L. K., Byrne, R., Patterson, P., Jones, P. B., Fowler, D., & Gumley, A. I. (2013). Impact of cognitive therapy on internalised stigma in people with at-risk mental states. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 203(2), 140-145. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.bp.112.112110

National Institute on Drug Abuse. (2020). Family support in addiction recovery. Retrieved from https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/principles-adolescent-substance-use-disorder-treatment-research-based-guide/family-support-in-addiction-recovery

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2015). Substance use disorders. Retrieved from https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/disorders

Wood, L., Byrne, R., Burke, E., Enache, G., & Morrison, A. P. (2017). The impact of stigma on emotional distress and recovery from psychosis: The mediatory role of internalised shame and self-esteem. Retrieved from https://repository.essex.ac.uk/21927/1/woodpr2017.pdf

Your Room. (2021). Shame and self-stigma. Retrieved from https://yourroom.health.nsw.gov.au/whats-new/Pages/Shame-and-self-stigma.aspx

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Welcome to Webb TherapyWelcome to Webb Therapy

| Mitchell WebbMitchell Webb| 0 Comment|

Webb Therapy is a casual, affirming, and confidential, talking therapeutic process dedicated to supporting people who are experiencing anything, and want to talk about it. Webb Therapy offers a warm and integrative counselling service based in Sydney City. Led by Mitch Webb—a registered counsellor with the Australian Counselling Association.

He also has strong expertise in helping with:

  • Substance use disorders, addiction, and recovery
  • Emotion regulation, stress management, anxiety, depression, and behavioural change

Mission & Goals
Webb Therapy is dedicated to offering a safe space for you to share your inner experience and learn how to navigate psychological and emotional pain, elevate self‑awareness, and build sustainable positive change – whether it’s improving relationships, setting meaningful goals, or ending patterns that no longer serve you.

Facebook Presence: Webb Therapy
The Facebook page encapsulates Webb Therapy’s core ethos: “Unlearn. Learn. Accept. Embrace. Change. Grow. Increase Self‑awareness,” reinforcing its person‑centred, self‑development focus.

Please Phone 0488 555 731 to schedule a booking.
Price: $120.00 for a 60 minute session. Please enquire if you are a low income earner or receiving Centrelink benefit.

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What’s the difference between an ‘excuse’ and a valid ‘reason’? Sometimes excuses sound like reasons.What’s the difference between an ‘excuse’ and a valid ‘reason’? Sometimes excuses sound like reasons.

| Mitchell WebbMitchell Webb| 0 Comment|

This is a subtle but important distinction—excuses often sound like reasons, which is why it can be confusing. Let’s break it down clearly.

1. Core difference

AspectReasonExcuse
DefinitionAn explanation for why something happened, based on facts or legitimate circumstances.An attempt to justify or defend a behavior, often to avoid blame or responsibility.
PurposeTo clarify or explain objectively.To deflect responsibility or make oneself appear less accountable.
TruthfulnessUsually true and relevant.Can be true, partly true, or sometimes fabricated; often selectively presented.
EffectHelps others (or yourself) understand the situation.Helps avoid criticism or guilt; may not genuinely resolve the issue.

2. How they feel in practice

  • Reason example: “I missed the meeting because the train was delayed due to an accident.”
    • It’s factual, external, and unavoidable.
  • Excuse example: “I missed the meeting because traffic was terrible.”
    • May be partially true, but it avoids full responsibility, like leaving early, not planning ahead, or not checking alternatives.

Sometimes excuses can sound like reasons if they include a kernel of truth. The difference is often intention and accountability:

  • If the explanation acknowledges your role or is verifiable, it’s a reason.
  • If it shifts blame or deflects responsibility, it’s an excuse.

3. Quick test to distinguish them

Ask yourself:

  1. Does this explanation take ownership of what I could control?
  2. Is it meant to inform or to justify?
  3. Would I offer the same explanation if I were fully accountable?
  • If yes → Reason
  • If no → Excuse

everyday examples of reasons vs. excuses across different areas. I’ll show why some things sound like reasons but are actually excuses.

1. Dating / Social Life

ScenarioReasonExcuse
You cancel a date“I have a high fever and shouldn’t go out.” “I was too tired, traffic was bad, and it was going to rain.” ❌ (shifts responsibility to external factors rather than personal choice)
You forget to reply to messages“I was on a work trip with limited phone access.” “I didn’t reply because I was busy and you wouldn’t understand anyway.” ❌ (blames the other person and avoids owning the choice)

Key: A reason explains something honestly. An excuse tries to minimise perceived fault. Key insight here:

A statement can be part reason, part excuse. The difference often comes down to which element you emphasise and how you frame it.

  • Valid, reason-focused version: “I’m really exhausted and need to rest tonight so I can be ready for tomorrow. Can we reschedule?”
    • Takes ownership, honest, emphasises your physical/mental limit.
  • Excuse-heavy version: “I didn’t want to go because traffic was bad, potential rain, and I was tired.”
    • Blames external factors first, makes it sound like avoidance rather than legitimate self-care.

Your perception matters. If fatigue is real, it’s a valid reason, not an excuse. The “excuse” label is mostly about statements that use partially true or exaggerated external factors to justify avoidance, rather than honest, understandable limits.

2. Work / School

ScenarioReasonExcuse
Missed a deadline“I underestimated the time needed for this task; I’ll adjust my schedule next time.” “The instructions weren’t very clear and the system was going slow, so I couldn’t finish.” ❌ (shifts responsibility, even if partly true)
Poor performance“I didn’t have enough data to make a complete analysis.” “The team didn’t give me enough support, so it’s not my fault.” ❌ (focuses on others rather than personal accountability)

Key: Reasons acknowledge what happened and provide context. Excuses often imply “it’s not really my fault.”

3. Personal / Everyday Life

ScenarioReasonExcuse
Late to a social gathering“The bus broke down and I left early to catch it.” “I left on time but buses are always late.” ❌ (blames circumstances without taking steps to prevent being late)
Didn’t keep a promise“I forgot because I put it on the wrong calendar; I’ll set a reminder next time.” “I forgot because I’ve been too busy and stressed.” ❌ (partly true, but framed to deflect personal responsibility)

4. Key Patterns to Spot

  • Reason: Explains what happened, takes some ownership, is often verifiable.
  • Excuse: Explains why it’s not your fault, often blames external factors or minimises responsibility.
  • Trick: Excuses can be dressed up with facts, which is why they sound like reasons—but the difference is ownership and intention.

“There is no such thing as a list of reasons. There is either one sufficient reason or a list of excuses.” — Robert Brault.

“It is easier to find an excuse than to find a reason.” — Doug Brown.

“Reasons become excuses when they are used to avoid responsibility or to be accountable.” — Dave Anderson

    There’s a substantial body of psychological research that touches on excuses, reasons, and how people justify their behaviour.

    1. Excuses in psychology

    • Often studied under concepts like self-justification, self-handicapping, and impression management.
    • Key idea: People sometimes give excuses to protect self-esteem or avoid negative social judgement.

    Examples from research:

    • Self-Handicapping: When people create obstacles for themselves (e.g., “I didn’t study because I was tired”) so if they fail, they have an excuse. This is well-studied in educational and performance psychology (e.g., Jones & Berglas, 1978).
    • Impression Management: Excuses can be used to manage how others perceive you—making yourself look less at fault or more sympathetic (Leary & Kowalski, 1990).
    • Moral Psychology: People distinguish between excuses (to deflect blame) and justifications (to explain actions as morally acceptable). Excuses are seen as reducing personal responsibility, whereas justifications are claiming the act is okay under circumstances (Shaver, 1985).

    2. Valid reasons

    • Studied more under attribution theory: how people explain causes for their behaviour.
    • Internal vs. external attribution:
      • Internal: “I didn’t finish because I didn’t plan properly.”
      • External: “I didn’t finish because the bus was late.”
    • A valid reason often corresponds to an explanation that is fact-based, relevant, and seen as legitimate by social norms, while an excuse may rely on controllable factors framed as uncontrollable.

    Research highlights:

    • People are more likely to accept explanations as valid reasons if they acknowledge personal responsibility (Miller & Ross, 1975).
    • Excuses are more likely to be accepted if they appeal to external constraints beyond one’s control, even if the person could have done something differently.

    3. Subtle distinctions in research

    • Excuse: Often functions to protect self-image or avoid punishment/blame.
    • Reason: Functions to inform others of causality; it may include personal responsibility and is usually perceived as legitimate.
    • Studies show that people are much more forgiving when a reason signals honesty and unavoidable constraints, versus an excuse that signals avoidance of responsibility.

    4. Practical implications

    • Being clear about whether you’re giving a reason or an excuse affects trust and credibility in relationships.
    • Psychologically, framing your explanation around ownership and unavoidable factors makes it more likely to be perceived as a reason rather than an excuse.
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    Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, and Prolonged AnxietyAnxiety, Anxiety Attacks, and Prolonged Anxiety

    | Mitchell WebbMitchell Webb| 0 Comment|

    I want to preface this post by stating that the concepts and suggestions I’ve made below are my own thoughts, opinions, and suggestions based on my own experience working in the mental health sector and lived experience. There may also be numerous grammatical and logical errors. I know that you’re intuitive enough to understand what I’m attempting to describe and explain. Therefore, there will be no references section at the end. This is merely an expression of thoughts, a stream of consciousness (William James coined the term Stream of Consciousness).

    Episodic, acute, and chronic anxiety can be miserable and debilitating. Individuals living with anxiety have generally experimented with many techniques to cope with anxiety symptoms, and they have often been practicing these techniques for months, years, or decades. Anxiety is life changing. Current treatment can be efficacious at reducing the intensity or frequency of symptoms for the vast majority of people living with anxiety, but only at best. I, myself, have tried the deep breathing technique commonly advised by mental health professionals, and it can be about as useful as taking a sugar pill. There is credible science that supports deep breathing exercises can improve symptoms and recovery rates for stress, anxiety and depression levels – but what about for an anxiety attack or a panic attack or intense chronic symptoms of anxiety?

    Sometimes nothing is effective enough for immediate relief. It is my contention that building a relationship with a trained psychiatrist, specialised in this domain, is an essential first step. Your treating specialist(s) will need to have extensive experience and a comprehensive understanding of the debilitating impacts of anxiety, anxiety attacks, and/or panic attacks. I recommend psychiatry because you will need someone who can prescribe short-term medication, schedule 4 or greater, to alleviate the pain rapidly. All symptoms a person may experience from any condition in the anxiety family present a risk for searching for any immediate relief. This is true for you or me or anyone. Without prompt and effective medical care readily available, many people who do not have a plan for managing anxiety will potentially search for an unhealthy substitute to acquire relief.

    These substitutes are often unhelpful long term but effective short term. We all know what they are: alcohol and other drugs, sexual promiscuity or sex addiction, love addiction, gambling, excessive or unhealthy eating habits, self-injury, addictive forms of gaming, impulse spending, co-dependent or dependent behaviours on people, people pleasing, running away (avoiding reality), raging, reckless driving and other criminal behaviour, and relying on pharmaceuticals (legally prescribes or otherwise) that will have long-term unhealthy side effects. People know how to “doctor shop”, and although this area of medicine is becoming much more regulated, it still occurs. Unfortunately, there are people who do require certain types of legal drugs, in a timely manner, to find relief as a means of not engaging in any of the previously mentioned behaviours.

    Some people may not have much faith in the field of psychiatry or psychology – HOWEVER – you may find yourself in a situation one day where you will need a doctor who knows your history to increase the likelihood of prescribing medication to treat anxiety when you need it most. This medication usually has addictive properties. An ethical psychiatrist will usually be unwilling to prescribe more than a single repeat of potentially addictive medication to treat their patients. This is standard, regulated medical practice in Australia.

    Anyone working in the drug and alcohol sector or has regular contact with a person living with anxiety, or any form of addiction, will know that patients – people – are not being seen in a timely manner top treat anxiety before the patient starts looking elsewhere. Even once the patient has accessed some type of medical care, the length of care is not long enough for the patient to be “well enough” after discharge or ending their hourly session, to be on their own in the community safely without becoming vulnerable to their condition in a short time and looking for more relief to ease their pain and improve their well-being.

    If a person or a patient cannot depend on the medical system in the way they need to feel safe and well, they will almost certainly begin to lose faith and trust in health professionals, and ‘the system’. This perpetuates their internalised stigma being reinforced, yet again.

    I am not saying the patient doesn’t have a significant responsibly of their own to make valuable choices outside of medical treatment. I quote what someone once said to me, “You may not have asked for this disease, but it becomes our responsibility to stay well”. That is our duty as the person living with a health issue of any kind. There are things we certainly must do (or not do) to stay as healthy as possible. The help make not be there in a timely manner the next time we need immediate help.

    It can take weeks or more to enter a detox facility. It can take months to enter a rehabilitation facility. It can take months for an available appointment to open with a psychiatrist. It becomes our responsibility to know that even when we’re feeling well and back to “normal”, we must continue those relationships with medication professionals. It becomes our responsibility to try alternative medicines if that’s something you’re interested in. Let’s face it, psychiatrists cease their practice, our professional relationship has reached it’s potential for adequate, loving care, or we want to try something new.

    Start the process of finding a reliable, qualified, and credible psychiatrist today. I would recommend finding a counselling psychologist or other mental health professional that you have a productive and friendly working relationship with – and if you want to practice Buddhism, or acupuncture, or hypnotherapy, or any other complementary and alternative medicine – do it. If you want to connect with God – do it. If you want to see a naturopath – do it. Whatever it is, this may very well be a lifelong journey for you. Based on my own experience, don’t stop because you think you’re “all better now”. The previously mentioned professions or treatment options or lifestyle choices can be extremely expensive, but I would encourage you to save for it, find less expensive options. Sitting in church is free, or listening to an online guru can be the price or maintaining your mobile service bill.

    I once knew of a fellow peer in treatment alongside me who said he saved money for years to travel overseas to have a procedure not available in Australia at the time for this purpose. He wanted blood transfusions and heat therapy for chronic pain that didn’t doctors could not determine had physiological origins. The peer was sure it had to, and medical investigations in Australia come up negative. The peer explained the theory behind blood transfusions and heat therapy – he believed – were supposed to improve his blood circulation and blood flow to treat the chronic pain he’d been living with for years after a workplace accident. Even this procedure overseas proved ineffective in mitigating his chronic pain. So, next he tried the wim hof method. He changed is diet. He exercised differently. He tried hypnotherapy. Finally, he turned psychology to treat stress and process childhood trauma. He was being treated for this a private facility where I was a patient at that time. I lost contact with him after I ended my own treatment episode. I don’t know if he’s still living with chronic pain or not.

    The following are some very basic and well-known strategies in the Western world of psychology that you can begin to practice today, and then practice every day after that too – even for 5-20 minutes:

    – learning about anxiety – your specific “causes” and the conditions more generally

    – mindfulness

    – relaxation techniques

    – correct breathing techniques

    – dietary adjustments

    – exercise

    – learning to be assertive

    – building self-esteem

    – cognitive therapy

    – exposure therapy

    – structured problem solving

    – support groups

    My firm believe is this:

    Strong, healthy, quality relationships are essential to treating anxiety and other psychological illnesses. This about your life today: are you lonely (romantically or otherwise), are you a stressed individual, do you regularly feel like you job is stressful or unfulfilling, do you feel sad a lot, are you feeling pointless a lot, or feeling helpless a lot, feeling shame a lot, getting angry a lot over considerably minor things? etc. etc. etc. I would strongly encourage talking to a professional and begin exploring what options you have available to you.

    Try, explore, play with a few methods of treatment. However, this must take a priority in your life. It must balance will all the many other obligations and responsibilities people encounter daily.

    Type alternative medications or approaches to psychology. There are so many. It can be fun to try out a few when your finances permit. Even planning a holiday every 3-6 months is taking care of your well-being.

    Many blessings friends.

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