Webb Therapy Uncategorized There’s nothing ‘fake’ about ‘faking it until you make it’

There’s nothing ‘fake’ about ‘faking it until you make it’

When to Fake It Till You Make It (and When You Shouldn’t)

Faking it for the right reasons can change you for the better. Here’s why.

Posted Jun 27, 2016By Amy Morin

One day, a client came to see me because she felt socially awkward. She knew that her inability to make small talk was holding her back both personally and professionally. As a shy person, she hated going to networking events. But making connections was vital to her career.I asked, “What do you usually do when you go to a networking event?” She said, “I stand awkwardly off to the side and wait to see if anyone will come talk to me.” I asked her, “What would you do differently if you felt confident?” and she said, “I’d initiate conversation and introduce myself to people.”

Right then and there, she discovered the solution to her problem: If she wanted to feel more confident, she had to act more confident. That wasn’t quite what she wanted to hear. She’d hoped for a solution that would immediately make her feel more confident. But the key to becoming more comfortable in social situations is practice.Her instinct was to wait until she felt more confident, but that confidence wasn’t going to magically appear out of thin air—especially if she was standing around by herself. However, if she started talking to people like a confident person, she’d have an opportunity to experience successful social interactions, and each of these would boost her confidence.

Acting “As If”

Acting “as if” is a common prescription in psychotherapy. It’s based on the idea that if you behave like the person you want to become, you’ll become like this in reality:

1. If you want to feel happier, do what happy people do—smile.

2. If you want to get more work done, act as if you are a productive person.

3. If you want to have more friends, behave like a friendly person.

4. If you want to improve your relationship, practice being a good partner.Too often we hesitate to spring into action. Instead, we wait until everything feels just right or until we think we’re ready. But research shows that changing your behavior first can change the way you think and feel.

The Biggest Mistake Most People Make

Faking it until you make it only works when you correctly identify something within yourself that’s holding you back. Behaving like the person you want to become is about changing the way you feel and the way you think.If your motives are to prove your worth to other people, however, your efforts won’t be successful, and research shows that this approach actually backfires. A study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that people who tried to prove their worth to others were more likely to dwell on their shortcomings. Ambitious professionals who wore luxury clothing in an effort to appear successful, and MBA students who wore Rolex watches to increase their self-worth just ended up feeling like bigger failures. Even worse, their attempts to project an image of success impaired their self-control. They struggled to resist temptation when they tried to prove that they were successful. Putting so much effort into faking it used up their mental resources and interfered with their ability to make good choices.

How to “Fake It” the Right Way

Acting “as if” doesn’t mean being phony or inauthentic. It’s about changing your behavior first and trusting the feelings will follow. As long as your motivation is in the right place, faking it until you make it can effectively make your goals become reality. Just make sure you’re interested in changing yourself on the inside, not simply trying to change other people’s perceptions of you.

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When our intelligent and necessary emotion – ANGER – becomes unhealthy and damagingWhen our intelligent and necessary emotion – ANGER – becomes unhealthy and damaging

The function of anger is to protect vulnerability and neutralize threat.

The threat humans cognitively perceive is almost always to the ego i.e., how we want to think of ourselves and have others think of us. Anger neutralizes ego-threat by devaluing, demeaning, or undermining the “power” of the person perceived to be threatening. Humans get angry when they don’t get what they want, when they’re disrespected, or when they perceive something is unjust/unfair. Anger, the emotion, is a chemical messenger. It communicates to us, to others, and motivates us to act, speak, do something. Healthy responses to anger include being assertive, feeling empowered, protecting ourselves and love ones from ACTUAL threat, setting boundaries with others, and making social change for justice (for example). It becomes unhealthy when we become passive-aggressive, violent, vengeful, spiteful, aggressive, resentful, sarcastic, “moody”, rude etc.

Receive the message and respond from a wise, calm place after the intensity of the emotion has past. Sometimes we have to act in the moment. Our ancestors may have required this for fight/flight survival. These days, we can generally PAUSE and calm the self before responding from a mindful and compassionate heart and mind. Remember: Hurt people, hurt people.


Overall Global Leading Cause of Death

  • Ischemic heart disease (coronary artery disease) – Still the #1 cause of death worldwide.
  • Followed by: Stroke, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), lower respiratory infections, and cancer (e.g., lung, liver, colorectal).

Breakdown by Category

By Age

Age GroupLeading Cause(s) of Death
Infants (<1)Neonatal conditions, birth complications, infections
Children (1–14)Accidents (injuries), infections (low-income countries), cancers (e.g., leukemia)
Youth (15–24)Road injuries, suicide, homicide (varies by country)
Adults (25–44)Injuries (road, drug overdose), suicide, HIV/AIDS (in some countries), heart disease
Middle Age (45–64)Heart disease, cancer (esp. lung, colorectal, breast), liver disease
Older Adults (65+)Heart disease, stroke, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease

By Gender/Sex

GroupLeading Cause of Death
Cisgender MenHeart disease, cancer (lung, liver), accidents
Cisgender WomenHeart disease, cancer (breast, lung), stroke
Transgender IndividualsElevated risk from violence, suicide, and HIV/AIDS (especially trans women of color); limited large-scale data
Non-binaryInsufficient population-specific data, but risks often parallel those of trans populations or assigned sex at birth

By Race/Ethnicity (Example: United States)

GroupTop CausesUnique Issues
White (non-Hispanic)Heart disease, cancer, drug overdose
Black or African AmericanHeart disease, cancer, higher stroke risk
Hispanic/LatinoHeart disease, cancer, diabetes
Native AmericanAccidents, liver disease, diabetes, suicide
Asian AmericanCancer (leading cause), stroke, heart disease

Note: Disparities arise from systemic inequalities, access to care, and social determinants of health.


By Sexuality (LGBTQ+)

  • Limited global data, but in many regions:
    • Higher risk of suicide, mental health disorders, substance abuse, HIV/AIDS (especially among MSM and trans women).
    • Discrimination and healthcare avoidance contribute to worsened outcomes.
  • Common causes of death still include heart disease and cancer, with higher rates of premature death linked to stigma and healthcare disparities.

By Geographic Region

RegionLeading Cause(s)
High-Income CountriesHeart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s, stroke
Low- and Middle-Income CountriesInfectious diseases (TB, HIV), maternal mortality, stroke, heart disease
AfricaHIV/AIDS, malaria, lower respiratory infections
AsiaStroke, heart disease, chronic lung disease
North AmericaHeart disease, cancer, drug overdose (opioid crisis)
EuropeHeart disease, stroke, cancer
Latin AmericaViolence (in younger adults), heart disease, diabetes

By Profession

  • Agricultural/farm workers: High injury rates, pesticide exposure, suicide
  • Construction workers: Falls, injuries, exposure to toxins (e.g., asbestos)
  • Healthcare workers: Infectious disease, burnout, mental health risks
  • Military/first responders: Combat-related injuries, PTSD, suicide
  • Office workers: Sedentary lifestyle risks (heart disease, diabetes)

Occupation-linked deaths often relate to environmental exposures, physical risks, or psychological stressors.


Conclusion:

Across almost all demographics, heart disease remains the leading cause of death, followed by cancer, stroke, and—in certain populations—accidents, suicide, or infectious diseases. However, the underlying causes (social, economic, political) differ significantly based on identity, geography, and profession.

Would you like this formatted into a chart, infographic, or specific to a country or report you’re working on?

Sigmund Freud’s classic Defence Mechanism’sSigmund Freud’s classic Defence Mechanism’s

Projection: Attributing one’s unacceptable feelings or desires to someone else. For example, if a bully constantly ridicules a peer about insecurities, the bully might be projecting his own struggle with self-esteem onto the other person.

Denial: Refusing to recognize or acknowledge real facts or experiences that would lead to anxiety. For instance, someone with substance use disorder might not be able to clearly see his problem.

Repression: Blocking difficult thoughts from entering into consciousness, such as a trauma survivor shutting out a tragic experience.

Regression: Reverting to the behaviour or emotions of an earlier developmental stage.

Rationalization: Justifying a mistake or problematic feeling with seemingly logical reasons or explanations.

Displacement: Redirecting an emotional reaction from the rightful recipient to another person altogether. For example, if a manager screams at an employee, the employee doesn’t scream back—but the employee may yell at her partner later that night.

Reaction Formation: Behaving or expressing the opposite of one’s true feelings. For instance, a man who feels insecure about his masculinity might act overly aggressive.

Sublimation: Channelling sexual or unacceptable urges into a productive outlet, such as work or a hobby.

Intellectualization: Focusing on the intellectual rather than emotional consequences of a situation. For example, if a roommate unexpectedly moved out, the other person might conduct a detailed financial analysis rather than discussing their hurt feelings.

Compartmentalization: Separating components of one’s life into different categories to prevent conflicting emotions.